It is said that a woman knows within 5 minutes if she wants to see a guy again. Well aint that the truth, and this encounter is the perfect example! It lasted exactly 45 min…..40 minutes longer then I would have liked. We met up at Starbucks, again. His choice of attire was a mixture between hillbilly and thug…interesting to say the least. He then made a comment about how he was wearing my favorite, dark jeans and a flannel…. but he clearly neglected to take fit into consideration. He also had awkwardly small feet, which I equated to him being someone’s girlfriend while he was in the big house. Oh yea, did I mention he “did some time” as he referred to it. Don’t judge me, all of you like “bad boys” too. Anyway, there was only one empty table and it was kind of quiet in there, but not so quiet you couldn’t speak, it wasn’t a library. Now, I know people get nervous on a first date, but to call this “date” awkward would have been an understatement. He wouldn’t talk! And we all know my favorite topic is myself so this should have been perfect! Not only did he not speak, but he looked at me like the guy in the attached video! He just nodded and stared at me. I think he was trying to be seductive, but he just made things worse. But, I can now say that I know exactly how a juicy steak feels.
As we were sitting there NOT TALKING a friend walked in. Proof that God does exist and answers prayers! The evening took a turn for the worst when he said that he would tell my boater Greek grandparents basically to fuck themselves if they ever said anything offensive to him. He was a real gem. So, I did the polite thing and made something up about why I had to leave. I used my friend being there as an excise to avoid him walking me to my car and asking me out again. When he got home and texted me that that was awkward. My response was, “Yea, you were.” He didn’t mean that and responded with, “I meant how quiet it was in there.” He followed that with a lengthy text explaining why he should have another shot, blaming the level of awkwardness on how quiet it was in there. And I explained that it wasn’t the atmosphere, he was what was awkward and that I didn’t see it going anywhere. He shockingly understood and wished me luck. And I haven’t heard from old Hungry Eyes since!